Dear every celebrity ever, except for Michael Jackson,

How do you find your plastic surgeons? I assume a lot of you do the "word of mouth" thing, or you look at your friend who just got a great role and you notice her breast augmentation and you think, hey, I'll hire somebody to dig through her trash and find a bill or something so I'll know where she went but she won't know I know and even if she does she won't be able to act like it so that I won't know that she knows I know.

But that can't be the only way, can it?

Again, maybe you look at people who have it done very poorly and you start cold-calling surgeons, making sure they didn't make that former starlet look like a bad Mr. Potato Head experiment.

Or maybe you go online? I've looked online, and the best resource I've found for the latest news and information as well as the best resource to find a plastic surgeon is Breast Implants USA. They only have Board Certified Plastic Surgeons. I hear that is important. No Mr. Potato Head for me!

Hmmm, for all I know Mr. Potato Head is a powerful agent and maybe I should just keep my mouth shut... Did I mention that I love potatoes? I do! Mmm-mmm! Tubers!

Also, do your pets get plastic surgery? I read somewhere that if you're a celebrity you can have a surgeon make your miniature teacup poodle look like it has the head of Scott Baio. If that's true, I want one of those. In exchange, I will give you, I don't know... what's one of those worth? I can give you my slightly used liver.

Anyway, thanks for any info you can give me. I'll see you next time you are at Starbucks, and if you pay with your credit card I will keep the number and trace it and eventually find out where you go for your surgery... oh, that'll be cash? OK, fine. Have a nice day.

EuroChick